The Waiting Game

 

One of the most stressful experiences at any point in your life is the waiting game. However, it seemed more tense this time round than on any previous occasion.   Being removed from your post as a result of an adverse mental health experience doesn't help, even when the company the employs you assure you of their good intentions, especially at the age of 61 with a family.

Working in the Security Industry meant at this time were always going to be delays due to the prevailing circumstances.  However, even being aware of the circumstances doesn't help lessen the tension.  The only way I found through this was to focus on one thing at a time, keep up my CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) routine and try to find things to distract.

There are many issues which I need to resolve, but 90% of them require some solid basis on which to plan, which is precisely what I haven't had.  These were the hardest to put to one side, but it was a must as dwelling on them would have done me no good.  I found out about what my employer had in mind round about mid February, but it has taken until now for this to really feel concrete.  I begin work officially in my new role on the 1st of April coming, practically on the 4th of April.

In the time spent waiting, I have started practicing the frame works for 4 of the 5 Pinan kata (this is going back to December, when I was originally signed as fit to returned to work in a controlled manner) and started on a couple of kata with Sai.  Now I'm starting to build up my personal practice time, as I haven't made it back to the dojo yet due to family and health considerations.  But the Waiting Game is almost over, and hopefully I can start to slowly start pulling the pieces together and getting some things in life back on track.  

I want to say a big "Thank You" to my Sensei, family and friends for their support during this time.

REY 26/03/2022

Quadrant drill

The Quadrant Drill was originally taught to us as a paired exercise in the Dojo.   There are two roles, one primarily the aggressor and the other primarily the defender.   The role focussed on here is the  aggressor role, and it is this part that became a staple part of the video lessons of our dojo, along with the 5 pad drills based on the Naihanchi kata.  I will also add text descriptions of the complementary action of the defender role where I can remember them.

Quardrant Drill, 1st 3 elements

The first three elements are: Jab, Cross, Hook

The counters: FH parry, move head away from parry

BH parry, move head away from parry

Step in, triangle block (forearm to neck)

Quadrant Drill, 2nd 3 elements

The second three elements are: Hammer fist, Looping left, Hook

Counters are, Cross arm block,

Triangle block to right,

Triangle block to left

Quadrant Drill  part 3, 6 elements

The next 6 elements are: LH backhand, Right elbow, LH uppercut to ribs, RH uppercut to ribs, LH shuto to RH side of neck and hold, RH shuto to LH side of the neck.

Counters are: Step back into Cat stance, shuto parry,
Step in to elbow attack, back of LH, re-enforced by open RH over the top of the right arm of attacker,
RH gedan uke, LH gedan uke,
No counters to shutos, brace arms for knee strikes

Quadrant Drill Part 4, switches and knees

The next three elements are: hands clasp behind neck in gable grip (fingers and thumb on each hand together); switch stance, dragging head left then left knee; switch stance, dragging head right then right knee.

Counter: Braced arms to receive knee strikes.

Quadrant Drill Part 5, head, sweep, shoulder

The final three elements of the first part of the drill are as follows: (release gable grip to allow to come back up) Head butt, sweep arms down, Shoulder barge, with rear hand up by front shoulder.

Counters: Braced hands to receive head butt

Quadrant Drill Part 6, 2nd half of drill.

The first part of the drill formed the main focus for most of the time when going through the quadrant drill during Covid, but we did recap the second half too on many occasions.  The elements for this part tended to not be separated out so much, but gone through as a succession, and that it how I will cover them here:

Mawashi Geri; Mawashi Geri holding kicking leg extended; Mawashi Geri with follow through back to stance; Ashi Uke; Mai Geri to mid section; Mai Geri to mid section; Mai Geri to groin; Back fist. followed four punches to upper torso; Three punches to mid section; Duck and weaver under punches; Arm trap; Back off.

With counters, I only ever learnt as far as the Ashi Uke part, that I can remember.  So to the first Mai Geri, the counter is Ashi Uke, to the Mai Geri with extended kicking leg the counter is trapping the kicking leg between hip and arm and to the final Mai Geri is to step back and scopp round with the front hand.  For the Ashi Uke, there is a return Mai Geri.

Below are a few videos taken of the Quadrant Drill during Covid through both 2020 and 2021.  I still include the Quadrant Drill in my solo practice to this day.

Quadrant Drill x2 3 July 2021

Quadrant drill 08 March 2021

Quadrant drill April 26 2020

REY 26/03/2022

Kata with Sai

I haven't formally been trained in Sai, but some time back, attending a session online with Sensei Tuari Dawson wetted my appetite.  Since been given Sai as a birthday present, I have occasionally used Sai with kata to see how they might fit.  This year however, due to personal circumstances, most of my practice and training has been solo and I found myself picking up the Sai more often.

Sanchin with Sai

I started off with Sanchin, which for some reason seemed to fit, and have been doing that for a couple of months now.  However, on my birthday, a message from one of my FB friends took me back to a video shared with me a couple of years ago.  It was of another standard kata, but done with Sai.  The first time round, I hadn't recognised it, but it was essentially Pinan Nidan.  Well, not quite.  

Pinan Nidan with Sai

I have tried it out a few times, and this weekend if formed the basis of a discussion with PJ Broomy.  Two things came out of this:

Firstly the kata is actually a blend of Taigyoku Shodan and Pinan Nidan
Secondly, I need to work on my Sai manipulation, as I still have a lot to learn.

PJ has kindly guided me to some YouTube material by Tuari Dawson, so time to get studying....

Living with the Consequences

A while back I wrote a blog titled "Suicidal Thoughts", based on the issues that caused me to contemplate suicide.  This is the follow up.

As as result of my speaking to the doctor, I was signed off work and undertook a course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to help we work through the issues that had put me in such a position.   This was backed up by counselling through a service provided by my employer.  Basically it was a mix of financial worries, the worries caused by COVID-19 and my co-morbidities and family issues that had been there since the start of COVID.  In part I had turned to alcohol as a part of my coping mechanism, which had made things worse.

Working through the course persuaded me that I needed to drastically cut down my intake, and also to evaluate my feelings before reacting to situations.  The reduction in alcohol intake stays in effect to this day, an I believe for the most part I now react in a more reasoned and reasonable manner to most situations.  I also have to keep working at dealing with each situation independently, rather than dwelling too long on the "what ifs" of different combinations of things.

My progress was such that I was signed as fit to return to work with specific provisions, just before Christmas.   The approach was agreed by both my own doctor and my company's Occupational Health Consultant, but could not be discussed by my company or contractual employers until the new year, due to the holiday period.  So Christmas and New Year came and went, an I was hoping for a reasonably quick response.  Since the trigger for my thoughts had been the fear of using public transport, the provisions were based around a phased return to work, firstly working from home then gradually starting to return to the office one, two then three days a week before returning there full time.

The role I held on the contract was one which did require me to be in the office when fully occupied, but I had successfully carried out the main duties from home for the vast majority of the COVID period.   Therefore I was hopeful that the approach would be accepted.   However, as time went by with no official word other than that my manager on the contract had to hand the situation over to his manager, as he was extremely busy, January passed by without any word, and the doubts began to set in.

The focal point for each day became my exercises for bringing myself into the "now", combined with breathing and relaxation.   These as I had previously mentioned in "Kata and CBT" I had worked in with my Karate practice, as meditation forms a part of the routine for that discipline as well, at least the concept of "Mokuso" or empty mind.  I also spent part of the time learning new kata, courtesy of Videos from Noah Legel.  That, and doing some of the tasks that had been outstanding for a while.

There were other trials and tribulations along the way, but it obviously began to sink in that things were very likely not going to be as they were before.   This in turn brought new worries, which began to take a hold to some extent.  Battling these became added to the other issues I had already outlined to deal with, but the worst part as I am sure anyone will know, is the waiting.

I finally had my meeting with HR in early February, accompanied by one of the company directors, who had taken an interest in my case.   At the meeting I learnt of their concerns and intention to offer me a new role, working fin house and from home, with flexible hours.   This would address many of the worries I had, but obviously would mean some adjustments.   Then started another wait to see if this would come to pass.  The email finally came today, just as I was starting to write this blog.  Now I have to consider a fresh start and new challenges, but at least I am still here to tell the tale 😊.

REY 17/02/2022

An aide-memoire to Kihon Gata

Very early on in my karate journey, I was introduced to my dojo's kihon gata.  These are the routines practiced alongside kihon and kata that form the main element for beginners and intermediate students, all the way through to those who are looking to go for their black belts.   I produced the below aide memoire to her me to remember them.

Kihon Kata	Simple Description
Shodan	2 punch combination, Mae Geri
Nidan	Mae Geri, 2 punch combination
Sandan	2 punch combination, Mawashi Geri off front leg
Yondan	Mawashi Geri off front leg, 2 punch combination
Godan	Right Mawashi Geri (land in front), left Mawashi geri (land in front), reverse punch, jab.
Rokudan	Ashi uke, jab, cross, Mawashi Geri
Nanadan	Mae Geri (land in front) right jab, back kick
Hachidan	Mae Geri (land in front), back kick, reverse punch
Kyudan	Shuffle, backhand forehand punch, shuffle, backhand forehand punch, right then left mawashi geri, spinning kick
Judan	Shuffle, backhand forehand punch, shuffle, backhand forehand punch, right then left mawashi geri, hisa geri

 Before Covid so rudely interrupted things, I had got as far as my blue belt and was expected to know up to kihon gata Godan, as well as starting to learn Naihanchi Nidan.  However, we have always been encouraged to try to learn as far as we can in preparation for things to come.

Since I still practice on my own (with Zoom lessons as well of course, circumstances permitting), due to my own worries because of my health conditions, I decided to try and make all 10 a part of my solo practices, amongst other things.  Apart from the middle two kihon gata, they.can be considered as pairs.

Shoan and Nidan, Sandan and Yondan, Nanadan and Hachidan, then Kyudan and Judan can all be considered as related to one another, and this is how I like to practice them.  Below are the videos of the pairings of Kihon gata taken from my last solo practice, along with a sequential video of the 10 together.  This is to act as a marker for how far I have come so far, and hopefully for me to measure how much I have improved in later years.

           SHODAN and NIDAN

SANDAN and YONDAN

GODAN and ROKUDAN

NANADAN and HACHIDAN

KYUDAN and JUDAN

And finally all 10 of the kihon gata done as a sequence:

I think given practice, I should eventually be able to comfortably remember them all.  However, my favourite is still Judan, as it's the only one that features my favourite knee strike, also it's much easier to execute than the spinning back kick (or is it a hook kick now?), which takes it's place in Kyudan.  That is something I struggle with, as spinning tends to lead to me disorienting myself in the process.

Here's to more practice to come 😄

September to December Karate Diary

September to December 2021 was quite a rough period for me, but karate practice as ever was a part of my routine to keep going.  I worked it in with my mental health techniques as well, in the form of Kata for mindfulness and relaxation.  Below are a few sample videos and the playlists for Shorts, Solo Practice and Lessons for this time. 

September to December 2021 Shorts

September to December 2021 Solo

September to December 2021 lessons

Kata and CBT.

I'm currently undertaking an online course in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to help me unravel the Gordian knot described in "Suicidal thoughts".  Part of this is to practice three sets of techniques each day to help with mindfulness and relaxation.  Basically you have:

• Awareness, going through each part of your body in turn to explore what you can feel
• Tensioning, tensing and relaxing muscles to help relieve tension
• Breathing, feeling each breath to bring you into the now and focus on the present

This reminds me of a lot of the techniques I have learnt through Karate, such as the relaxation and cardio slow kata learnt with Robey Jenkins, the tensioning in Sanchin from PJ Broomy and the breathing learnt from Noah Legel, in Tensho.

As a result, and due to my need to get back into deliberately practice every day, I decided to see whether I could combine the two.  So I perform Naihanchi Shodan, Sanchin and Tensho in sequence.  Naihanchi, I perform slowly, paying attention to how my body moves and feels.  Sanchin, I am currently experimenting with tensioning on 1 rep in 2 and 1 rep in three for the whole body and relaxing in between.  In Tensho, it is a case of using the breathing much as is done in Mokuso, to empty the mind and come into the present.

The two videos shown are from the last couple of days, one with the 1 in 2 Sanchin, the other with the 1 in 3 Sanchin.  Very much a work in progress, but ironic that I chose without thinking the three kata labelled as fundamental kata to Karate by Miyagi Chojun.  I didn't even think about that until it was pointed out by PJ Broomy.  

Will document how it goes in a later blog.

Suicidal thoughts

 Probably one of the hardest things to talk about, but I have contemplated it a few times over the last three or four months.  Two times I've held a long bladed kitchen knife to my stomach, once I made a hangman's noose and the last time I got it back out and thought about it.  Once with the knife the police were called by my sisters, as they couldn't get hold of me after a comment on Facebook, and the last time my son walked in on me with the noose in front of me.

There are a number of problems in my life, some are financial worries, other are family issues which I have to work on, or other members of my family.  Any one on their own can be worked on, but then came Covid-19 and a whole new host of worries.  Prior to Covid-19, my health was largely under control through the use of medication, but Covid-19 changed that, as it now makes them potentially immediate killer conditions (heart and lung issues + Covid-19 is not a happy combination).

We were recently warned about having to go back to work full time, and told to prepare mentally, and I thought I had,  However, when it came the message hit me with a bigger  effect than I thought. The first bit was in two weeks time, one week in three which allowed a bit of breathing space,  the second actually the official update was that it would be the following week, but the trigger for events was the third update, which was that we would have to be using public transport.

Whilst I have been back to work in the office a couple of times in the last 20 months, it was always using a cab.   The thought of using public transport hit hard.  In my own group at work, social distancing and the use of masks is still in place, but travelling by train is a whole different thing.  No rules, no masks and people around you who have no consideration for others.  I just went numb, but with the feeling of a massive weight on my shoulders.

The common thing that I have noticed in the last two years, is that when a situation has arisen to which I am struggling to respond, all the other issues which I have been trying to deal with one by one rush in as well. giving a feeling of overwhelming helplessness, with no way of unravelling it.  A Gordian knot if you will.   With no obvious way out, that's when the feeling of helplessness followed by the contemplation of suicide kicked in.

My son's intervention got me to speak to the doctor and am now going to undertake a course in CBT accompanied by some counselling to help untangle the knots.  Family, messages from friends and the ability to train online with some of them have also been a great help.  I felt I needed to write this, just in case it might help some others.

REY 13/11/2021

Neko ashi dachi and Kokutsu dachi, compare and contrast.

I am lucky enough to study with two Sensei from contrasting styles, which occasionally allows the comparisons I am making here.  The two kata in question here are Pinan Shodan and Heian Nidan, by root the same kata but by practice somewhat different.   Pinan Shodan is a kata originally created by Itosu Ankoh, for introducing ito the Okinawan school system.  Heian Nidan is the version developed by Funokoshi Gichin, to help introduce Karate in the Japanese mainland.

There are many contrasts between the two, but I wish to concentrate on the transitions, as these seem to me the most fundamental difference,  I have discussed this with both Sensei, and this is what seems to be their consensus.

Kokutsu dachi and Shuto

Heian Nidan is conducted in Kokutsu dachi.  The weight is mostly on the back foot, but the front foot is also firmly planted.    By the interpretation  have, this is where facing an attack, you rock back, but need a solid framework to counter the threat.  Any attacking from this stance is done more naturally from the upper torso, or requires a transition to bring the lower torso into play.

Neko ashi dachi and Shuto

Pinan Shodan is conducted in Nekko ashi dachi.  Although again the weight is on the back foot, the practitioner should be "sitting down" in posture.  The front foot is then free to use in attacks without transitioning, however the framework is less stable until an attack is made.  Nekko ashi dachi lends itself to sweeps, knee strikes, foot traps, throws or sprawls.  If the next movement is forward, after the likes of a knee strike or sweep, the stance leads to the opportunity to press down on the opponent and take them to ground.

Pinan Shodan

All in all, although Itosu Ankoh is said to have taken much of the offensive capability out of Okinawan karate, it seem to me that is was more done by Funokoshi Gichin, in his interpretation of the kata for the Japanese audience of the time.  I have included my work in progress versions of each kata for the sake of completeness.

Heian Nidan

Than you for reading, hope you find it of interest.

May to September Karate Diary

 

May to September was a torrid time, but although I stopped formal lessons for a while, I didn't stop practicing.  For the record, I documented it all, although I didn't do any blogs, so here are all the videos.  The shorts seem to be popular, as well as the video (in training) of my son catching me in the crown jewels lol.

May to September Shorts

May to September Practice

May to June Lessons

July to September Lessons