Do you Want it? Come and Earn it...

Before the Grading

I should have guessed the next grading test would be different on many levels from the ones I had done previously, before and during Covid, however when I was asked whether I remembered all my Kihon and had practiced them, my answer was a simple "yes." This was followed by an invitation to attend the next grading. I would be trying for my Blue belt.

In the days prior to the grading, I acted as (my son) Brendan's uke for an element that hadn’t been present in previous gradings that I had seen for the higher belts. The routines to escape from a double choke hold weren’t included in my grading, so I wasn’t really aware how anything was going to differ. The last grading I had done we had no paired elements in that, only basic pad work to demonstrate competence in our Kihon Gata.

The Test Begins

Come grading day I thought it would be tough due to my lack of stamina from COPD and the absence of seriously strenuous exercise prior to returning to the dojo several months earlier. I was told this would be taken into account during the grading, as my examiners were fully aware of my issues.

I'm nothing if not bloody-minded though, and at the start of group Kihon I did my best to fully keep up, only dropping the power but matching the other students’ repetitions.

It took two or three techniques and I was almost gone, anything fast was nearly beyond me. Fortunately, the chief examiner told me to go a bit slower rather than trying to keep up. That way, I just made it through Kihon and Kihon Gata, though I was well aware that much of it was probably more ragged than that of other students.

Kata and Recovery

Fortunately, there was a break at that point as the more advanced students went through their additional Kihon Gata. I only had to demonstrate 1 to 4, while some of the other students going for purple belt had to demonstrate all 10.

By the time I got to the point of having to demonstrate my Kata (Naihanchi Shodan), I was determined to get it right. Unfortunately, I didn’t fully relax into it and there was some stiffness but I did manage to get to the end without any major mishaps. That was it — I was done, for better or worse. Or so I thought.

The Circuit Challenge

The higher grade students went through their choke hold, ground work, and other routines that took up a good while. I thought we were done. Silly me. I should have remembered the last face-to-face grading I did before Covid, where they had started to introduce pad work. To my dismay, rather than ending there, out came the various pad sets for circuit work.

There were to be three circuits to be done, from one end of the hall and back, performing the various Kihon Gata combinations on the pads to the call of the pad holders. This was going to test me to the full — and so it did.

I managed to do the first part of one circuit, which was mostly punching techniques, and started on the back sequence. By halfway down the return leg, I was struggling for breath, and I didn’t quite make it to the end. I stumbled off the mat and ended up in a heap on the floor, with someone kindly bringing my inhaler to help me recover. I was unable to participate in the other two circuits, as they were done before I got my breath back.

The Sparring Surprise

At that point, I felt that I had blown my chance of grading, which was deeply disappointing even though I had tried to the best of my ability.

Then came the last part of the grading — sparring. I had never seen this feature before, and it fully convinced me that I had no chance of passing. There were three rounds of sparring to take place, one minute each, and the first two rounds took place with me simply being an onlooker.

Then came the last twist in the tale. I was told to get my sparring kit on and that if I wanted to grade, I had to complete one minute of light sparring. It was against one of the younger students going for purple belt, who I knew had excellent technique, so I didn’t hold out much hope of doing anything meaningful.

However, having been thrown a lifeline, even if it was a challenge, there was no way I was going to miss out on the chance.

One Minute That Mattered

The next one minute was a blur, but one thing that did stick in my mind was that I was actually happy with — was that in response to a mawashi-geri jodan, I ducked my head, raised my shoulder, and took the kick. One of our black belts might remember why I was happy with that?

I remember my Sensei telling me “20 seconds to go,” “10,” then it was over. Again, I was on the floor needing my inhaler, but at least this time it was with the definite knowledge that I had completely given it my best shot.

The Result

I was still semi-resigned to having probably missed out, but there was this little seed of hope.

Then to the awards. All seated on the mat, awaiting our names to be called one by one.. and WOW, I had passed!! Admittedly it was only a C grade, which meant I had just scraped it from any point of view, but I had made it!!

 To say I was happy was an understatement. If you want it enough, sometimes it is possible to earn it even when you think you don’t have much of a chance. Don’t give up — even if it doesn’t work the first time, stick at it and you might just get there!

Thanks for reading.

REY 30/10/2025

The Drills have it (or is it the Aches?)

 

The weather since I last wrote here has been rather hot, which places a big limitation on what I’m able to do. On particularly warm days, my son and I have shifted our training sessions from Saturday daytime to Monday evenings, to take advantage of the cooler temperatures. This has paid off to some extent — on at least one occasion, I managed to walk home from the Dojo without a break. The first time I tried that, I believe I needed four or five pauses. So getting back into training is definitely proving beneficial there.

I’ve continued making notes on drills — checking them with our Sensei — so I can remember them for practice at home (or in the open space nearby), which we do from time to time. I generally include these in my blogs to help date them for future reference, and this entry is no exception, with three drills listed below from simple to more complex.

This Monday was cooler than most of our previous sessions, and my breathing felt easier, so I decided to push myself a little. The first sparring-type exercise was introduced early in the lesson (following our warm-up, of course): one person attempted to grab the other’s Gi while the other tried to block. If a grip was made, the defender had to break free. My partner was my son, and it began well. The exercise lasted a minute; we each managed a few successful grabs and breakouts (one of mine was an arm bar, which I was quite proud of). However, during the third or fourth attempt, I struggled for breath and dropped to the ground, trying to roll out — but instead just collapsed in a heap.

I’d become so engrossed in the exercise that I ignored the warning signs of overexertion. I was completely out of breath and struggled to recover due to my COPD. It took my inhaler and around 10 to 15 minutes of slow breathing to re-centre myself. From then on, I was ultra-cautious for the rest of the lesson, taking part mainly in Kata. Still, I realised I’d managed 50 seconds in that sparring drill — not far off my pre-COVID level.

In the final third of the lesson, we started full sparring (albeit light contact), and I couldn’t resist having another go. Again, my son was my partner, and again I clocked around 50 seconds, this time pacing myself more effectively and recovering more quickly afterwards. I was then able to take part in the Kobudo segment of the session with much less downtime.

I left feeling pleased with that final sparring round. Although light, we exchanged solid shots, and I didn’t end up on the floor. Just how solid was confirmed the next day when my calf was sore from a well-placed mawashi-geri! But there were absolutely no repercussions for my breathing — so that side of things feels like a definite win 😌.

While the job hunt continues to be much tougher than expected, Karate provides structure to my week — a routine to build around — and a chance to do something positive and creative like writing this blog. If you’ve read this far, thank you for taking the time. I hope you found it of interest.

REY
16-07-2025

Below is a key to the abbreviations and the exercise listings.

a) = attacker d) = defender Rh = right hand Lh = left hand

1) Both in fighting stance. a) Jabs d) Lh counter with outside block, controlling the arm d) Steps past on outside with right leg d) Rh back-fist to face, then pushing a) down over right leg

2)

a) Wrist grab d) Sweep grabbed arm up as in outward block d) Sweep other arm under and outward, as in matching outside block, grabbing attackers raised wrist d) Continue sweeping motion to extend arm and open opponents back d) Hook punch to ear/neck area with free hand d) Added extra drop elbow onto back of attackers extended arm d) Perform arm bar and turn to throw opponent to ground

3) Both in clinch, left arm behind neck, head down to prevent head butt a) Pushes rh up inside clinch for eye gouge (simulate) a) Locks rh behind head, left leg knee strike to abdomen/groin a) Releases grips, sweeps left arm under and round d) right arm a) Grabs left wrist with lh and pulls d) across a) Right arm raises to perform arm bar, right elbow goes on top of left elbow of d) a) Extension of arm continues to complete arm bar and lower head a) Right hammer-fist to l side of d) head under ear, push hand past head and pull up (chin, nose, eyes) a) Right leg back to complete pull up. a) Release both hands and lh punch to exposed throat, chin, etc

Karate: A Family Affair

OK, the title might be a little misleading — but to me, the dojo members are like extended family, and my son is family, so you could say Karate is a family affair for us. 🙂

This week we were lucky enough to train with — tongue in cheek — the “Granddad” of our dojo: Sensei Nohara (10th Dan), President of the Ryukyukan International Karate and Kobudo Federation. He came to give a seminar, and I think he brought the Okinawan weather with him, as the dojo was distinctly hot and humid! Due to my condition, I couldn't train nearly as much as I wanted — but opportunities like this don’t come around often, and they’re not to be missed. 🙂

We trained again on Saturday, marking the first time in five years that both my son and I had been to the dojo twice in one week. That session was a bit of a struggle, thanks to the after-effects of a rather large and spicy pizza the night before! Still, I managed much more of the lesson than I expected, and my son picked up a few more drills than I did — which led us nicely into a Father’s Day follow-up.

My Father’s Day suggestion to him was:

“Go beat me up — then I can do the same back.”

Given that he's bigger than me and a higher grade, it felt like a fair challenge! 🤣

We began with a drill I wrote down two weeks ago (see below), then moved on to material from our previous session — before I inevitably ran out of steam. We practiced kata up to Pinan Shodan, and I shared a few ideas I’d been exploring from a White Crane form I’ve been working on. Honestly, it was some of the best father-son work we’ve ever done. We both finished soaked in sweat, and with grins to match.

---

Starting Drill

1. Attacker (with pads) advances toward defender
→ Defender: verbal command + fence stance

2. Attacker strikes pads to sides of defender’s head
→ Defender: backhand palm strike to pads (head)

3. Attacker throws a roundhouse punch
→ Defender: triangular frame block, protecting head

4. Attacker drops pads to simulate a knee strike
→ Defender: bridges onto attacker’s shoulder and pushes down
→ Then: two knee strikes, followed by release

5. Attacker raises pads for an elbow strike
→ Defender: bridges to pads, delivers two elbow strikes
→ Then: releases bridging hand

6. Defender grabs attacker's wrist (opposite side of bridge)
→ Former bridging hand slaps attacker’s head
→ Body rotates in direction of pull, extending and rotating attacker's arm
→ Slapping hand moves to attacker’s elbow, forcing it downward
→ Rotation continues into an arm bar

7. Attacker is taken to the ground

---

To all the dads out there — Happy Father’s Day, and I hope you get time with your loved ones to sweat, laugh, and share a few bruises in good spirit.  And to all the mums, thank you for putting up with us.

Thanks as always to those of you who read this.
– REY, 15/06/2025

Remembering drills, Aches and Pains....

Going back to the dojo after a long time was a major shock to the system.  Much as I had kept practicing my kata as part of my mindfulness and breathing exercise, it was no preperation for the loss of stamina, and having to learn again how to pace myself to last a lesson given my health issues.  Along with such exercise also come the aches and pains of using muscles vigourously for the first time in ages.

Nontheless it was a great feeling to be back amost friends, and now in the same class as my son.  Before Covid he was a cadet, and now he's 18 and was even keener than me to get back into the swing of things than me😊.  We've just finished the third lesson back, and of course the biggest realisation after practicing solo for so long, is how much I missed the pairs work.  Some of it was familiar as basics never change, but a fair bit of the drill work was new to me.

Some of it I remember from the online lessons during Covid, but of course ultimately it's no real substitute for practicing with a partner.  It's one thing to think you've grasped the dynamics involved, it's another to actually get to practice them on a person, rather than on a pad or thin air.  Especially with a willing partner to practice with at home!

The drill I want to practice to get the dynamics right is the one I've documented below.  One habit I intend to keep up from previous blogs is to document some key elements of practice to act as an aide-memoire, once I've checked them with my Sensei.

Response to grab (single handed)

1)    Place nearest hand on grabbing hand, open handed slap to the side of the head with opposite hand.
2)    Move slapping hand across to other side of the neck and hook it round the neck.
3)    Release grabbing hand and slide your other hand over the grabbing arm and under the armpit
4)    Hook hand under the shoulder to break the grip, then step back with leg on slapping side.
5)    As you take a step back, push the head down and lift the shoulder up
6)    This should put the head below chest level and give enough space to get in a knee strike

That's so I can practice with my son later 😊

Thanks for reading 

REY 17/05/2025

Well it started out as Sanchin

 Of my original introduction to Karate through Shorin Ryu never included Sanchin, but through my interest in the history of Karate, I always had a hankering to have a look at that kata and Tensho.  I learnt Naihanchi as the fundamental kata of my style, but there were three kata named as fundamental to Karate in the first official meeting of Masters in 1936: A nerd blog, the birth of Karate

First came Tensho; when I asked for a Mentor to show me how to use Karate as a form of breathing exercise, Noah Legel offered to help using that kata.  I didn't learn the sharp breathing normally used with Tensho, and indeed Sanchin, rather slow, deep in through the nose, out from the mouth breathing to accompany the "draw in" and "push out" elements of the hand movements.  This was to help me cope with COPD, and I still use in any kata I have picked up since based on the Goju style. Tensho and Breathing Kata

Then Covid hit, I had been lucky to chat with PJ Broomy before that, due to us both having heart issues.  Covid gave us the chance to train together through some formal online lesson, and then develop on a more personal basis.  PJ kindly agreed to show me his style of Sanchin (Bukai, not strictly Goju), which I happily took on board.  My latest video of this kata is shown below.

Bu Kai Sanchin

Post Covid, I still have strong fears of going into crowded places due to my co-morbidities, COPD and hereditary heart problems.   As a result, I decided to ask Russ Smith if I could study some of his Five Ancestors lessons (very much a precursor to Karate).   Some of the basic moves there suggested something similar to Sanchin but different. (The double outward block. followed by a strike particularly).  So I used the Sanchin embusen to practice these.

5 Ancestors basics on the Sanchin Embusen

I suppose the next development was inevitable, in practising, I merged the two together. Sanchin embusen, final arm positions and punches, with 5 ancestors turns and arm crossings (traps rather than blocks, which resulted in the below hybrid version.

5 Ancestors basics / Sanchin Hybrid

Probably of no practical value other than to keep me practising, but isn't that the same goal for us all? Whether it be for competition, body mechanics, self discipline or health, we all have to have our motivation. Health is mine.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for Ben and Alison (my first Sensei), Noah, PJ and Russel for getting me this far.

REY 09/06/2024

The understanding of a form and (some of) its uses....

I have a penchant for trying to learn kata and forms both for mental stimulation.  I started to try to work out Ho Chien Wat out of curiosity, as I thought it was a beautiful form with definite elements of sharp contrast.   In doing so, I found that I was learning something that was both potentially good for breathing and, for me, good for exercise if performed as close as I can in the manner I originally viewed.

 

Where I am with the latter version of the form now is shown below.

Ho Chien Wat to the Best of my Ability

What I did find in the early stages though, was that although I studied the form many times and wrote down as much details as I could from what I had viewed (Anatomy of a Form: Ho Chien Wat), translating that into a decent approximation of the form.  Then I got a chat from my friend PJ Broomy about doing one of our occasional chats/training sessions.  I had an idea that trying to explain it to someone else from a similar background would help me work things out, so I asked PJ if I could show him what I was up to. 

 

The below videos were made after the video session and can be contrasted with those of the earlier blog.   As to how it worked, I broke the form down into the three elements: Salutation, Mid-Section (repetition) and Final Sequence. Then I showed PJ the movements to each part slowly.  The mid-section, was not as long as it looks here, as I just did the RHS then LHS progression once.   

Ho Chien Wat salutation

Ho Chien Wat middle section

Ho Chien Wat final sequence

Showing and trying to explain what I was doing I found helped my own understanding of the movements involved, and feedback received, helped me to do some fine tuning.   I spent four or five days taking on board the better understood version, and finally felt comfortable in using the form in the same manner I use Tensho, for slow, deep breathing connected to the movements.

 

Ho Chien Wat slow

Given that I sometimes don't have a lot of room to practice in, I had also worked out a static version of Tensho, for specifically just relaxation and clearing the mind.  I have now developed a version incorporating Ho Chien Wat with a part of Tensho.  As this requires more focus to perform than Tensho on its own, I find that this is even better for clearing the mind.  the exercise itself is shown below.

Static Slow Breathing exercise

With more confidence, I found I wanted to use Ho Chien wat more often as exercise, and with that came the quicker articulation of the form as shown in the first video.  I make no claim to understand the form as a tool for fighting, that I acknowledge would take years of work.  However, as a tool for deep breathing, mindfulness and exercise, I believe that there are clear benefits to the form, for me at least.

Hope you enjoyed reading.

Thank you to Russ Smith and PJ Broomy for their support and input.

REY 31/01/2024

Anatomy of a Form: Ho Chien Wat, Crane Battle Method

 

For the last few months I've been sticking to practicing the basics from the first two lessons of Russ Smith's five Ancestors lessons, as I have had other things on my mind.  However, a vide recently appeared in my FB feed of Russ executing the Ho Chien Wat form.  It immediately grabbed my attention as something I would have to take another look at.  So much so that I found myself taking notes on the form, as I knew i wanted to try it myself.

These are notes, along with videos of the first run through, for comparison with the notes.  It is very much a work in progress, but I thought it might interest one or two people, so I decided to share it.

Long Salutation

Step out with Left foot into opening stance, relax.

Move hands inwards, pointing flat, fingertip to fingertip, palm own.

Form fists, while turning hands inwards so facing thumb tip to thumb tip

Draw Right shoulder back, Right fist following upward to chest level. Left fist moves upward to chest level across the body.

Hands open rapidly palm up, then turn over and push down quickly with Right should moving forward so torso is front facing, hands open and palm down, pointing inwards.

Right shoulder moves forward, hands move upwards, fingertips up with arms bent at elbow to shoulder height.  Right arm in front of Left, Right palm facing outward, Left palm facing shoulder.

Hands sweep out rapidly to either side, arms bent at elbows, to head height.  Hands hook into Crane posture, arms angled outwards to approximately 25 degrees.

Hands open up, fingertips upwards, rotated outwards about 30 degrees at wrists.  Arms come down, elbows bent until forearms are parallel to the ground at waist height, hands rotate out to 45 degrees on descent.

Right hand rotates outwards and clenches into a fist, as Right shoulder is drawn back, Left hand moves upwards across face.  Right fist is pulled fully back to chest height and Left hand continues to cover with open palm.

Body rotates so torso is front facing, hands are extended outward together, Right first in Left open palm until forearms parallel with floor in front of body.

Right fist opens so fingers pointing outward, back of RH still in palm of LH. Open hands (thumbs out) move out to shoulder width, forearms slightly angled upwards, with hands at a slightly steeper angle. 

Body rotates to Right, Right shoulder back.  Arms maintain their position but move slightly downwards, so that when Right shoulder is drawn back fully both hands are parallel to the ground, with the Left arm being across the front of the body.

Body rotates so torso is front facing, hands rotate outwards and up (thumbs in), ending up with hands in front of shoulder line and forearms slightly angled up, hands about 30 degrees from vertical. 

Forearms drop slightly, until they are parallel with ground.  Hands tilt outward slightly to about 40 degrees from vertical, settling into Guard position. 

Mid - Stepping sequence

Right step forward (RL in front)

Right step forward, wide gaited stance, knees slightly bent, hands palm open (thumbs in) facing forward.

Hands turn in, palm down.  Right shoulder and arm pulls back, hand drawn up to chest level with the Left arm being across the front of the body, also at chest level.   

(*All sequences ) Body rotates rapidly, torso to the front. both arms push fully out in front, hands open and parallel to the ground.

Hands close to form One knuckle fist, index middle knuckle prominent. wrists rotate inwards, so backs of hands face floor.

Hands open out, and arms move outwards in a circular motion.  Hands rotate outward and move with arms until the circle is closed and arms cross if front of face.

Left hand moves in front of Right as they the cross and move forwards and down (back of hand to back of hand at moment of crossing).  Hands move into crane (hooking) hands as the come in line with the shoulders.

Hands pulled inwards and upwards, forming fists whilst elbows remain bent until fists reach above head height with arms fully extended.

Hands come down to head level, elbows bending slightly and fists turn inwards before opening up into splayed hands with clawed fingers.

Hands come down and inwards, in line with shoulders and level with chest.  Arms are bent at elbows and fingers turn outwards, closing with palms forward (thumbs in) and at angle and pushing forward at the same time.  Settle into Guard position.  (48 seconds)

Left step forward (LL in front)

Left step forward, wide gaited stance, knees slightly bent, hands palm open (thumbs in) facing forward.

Hands turn in, palm down.  Left shoulder and arm pulls back, hand drawn up to chest level with the Right arm being across the front of the body, also at chest level.   

Sequence repeats as from * above until next step forward.

Right step forward (RL in front) - repeat RH move sequence as for previous RL in front

Right step back (LL in front) - repeat LH move sequence as for previous LL in front

Left step back  (RL in front) - repeat RH move sequence as for previous RL in front

Right step back. (LL in front) - repeat LH move sequence as for previous LL in front 

 End Sequence

Right hand moves down and back, behind the body line.  Left hand moves upwards in line with shoulder with wrist turning inwards.

Right foot moves outward and forward, until toes in line with Left heel, Right arm continues moving in an upward arc with Right shoulder going back.   RH ends up alongside Right ear, fingers splayed and pointing forward, palm pointing away from ear.  LH continues moving up in line with face and pushing across open palmed an vertical, to outside the Right shoulder.

Weight moves onto Right foot, hands move up in line with top of head (finger tips LH, blade of RH), winding up for strike. Left foot drags inwards and back behind heel line of Right foot, shoulder width gap between, then pivoting to Left on balls of feet to 45 degrees off forward facing.   At same time LH sweeps down palm down to waist height, whilst RH strikes across at neck height, palm up, in a bladed strike.   Both strikes to 45 degrees in line with body.

Left foot steps out into wide legged 45 degree stance, knees bent.  LH moves down and back, behind the body line, continues moving in an upward arc ends up alongside Left ear, fingers splayed and pointing forward, palm pointing away from ear.  RH moves upwards in line with shoulder with wrist turning inwards then continues moving up in line with face and pushing across open palmed and vertical, to outside the Left shoulder.

Weight moves onto Left foot, hands move up in line with top of head (finger tips RH, blade of LH), winding up for strike. Right foot drags inwards and back behind heel line of Left foot, shoulder width gap between, then pivoting to Right on balls of feet to 45 degrees off forward facing.   At same time RH sweeps down palm down to waist height, whilst LH strikes across at neck height, palm up, in a bladed strike.   Both strikes to 45 degrees in line with body.

Right foot turns inward to face forward, pivot Left foot backwards to present a sharply bladed stance, with Left leg almost behind Right leg, but with Left foot angled outwards.  LH remains in place relative to the body, whilst RH moves across to under Left, in vertical line with Left shoulder.   Body weight shifts back onto back leg, which bends at knee to accommodate.  RH goes back under Left arm, RF drags back into Cat stance.  LH pulls back in line with L side of chest, R arm flicks out and up, RH is initially pointing down, but flicks up into ridge hand at the end of the arm extension.

RH moves in from should line to in front of face, LH draws across to RH side of body.   R foot takes long stride forward, RH pulls back in line with R side of chest, L arm flicks out and up, LH is initially pointing down, but flicks up into ridge hand at the end of arm extension.  So there is a counter point of RF going forward, as LHS of torso twists forward.

LF pulls up, LH comes back RH comes to front as torso realigns.  R Elbow bent and RH open at an angle.  Footing settles into standard stride length, L arm pulls back until LH in line with LHS of chest, R arm extends as elbow is straightened RH extends into a flat position parallel to ground, wrist bent slightly inwards.

L foot goes back half a foot distance, coming inward to give a more bladed stance, RH rises slightly to above height of LH. R foot pulls back into Cat stance, RH moves across and wrist tilts up so RH palm facing forward at an angle.  L foot drags back further into deeper Cat stance, R arm drops slightly and R wrist rotates so RH is pointing downwards.  At same time LH starts to move forward, with L wrist rotating so that LH palm starts to face forward with fingers pointing upwards.  RH stops at groin height on Centre line, facing palm out fingers down, LH stops at chin height on Centre line, facing palm out fingers up.

LH closes into fist, wrist turning and LH pulling back to RHS of chest, RH closes into  fist and R arm rises to cross over L arm, with RH resting to LHS of chest.  RF goes back to side of LF, standing straight.  Fists pull back to just under chest line either side of the body.  Hands draw back further and hands open, palm up, wrists rotate so hands facing palm down.  Then hands push down quickly, palms parallel to the ground, fingers facing forward  Knees bend slightly as arms extend to full extent.  Knees unbend, hands fall naturally by sides.

First Run Through

I tried my first end to end "walk through" of the form on 10th December.  Very jerky with some pauses and in a limited space (which meant stepping back and forth, rather than three steps forward, three steps back as the form actually requires), and I definitely ended up on the wrong foot (stepping through with left foot, rather than stepping up and pushing on with right).

Very much a work in progress and different to most Karate kata, but for me it's just the kind of form I find relaxing and will be a good addition to Tensho.

REY 10/12/23

Living with the Consequences

A while back I wrote a blog titled "Suicidal Thoughts", based on the issues that caused me to contemplate suicide.  This is the follow up.

As as result of my speaking to the doctor, I was signed off work and undertook a course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to help we work through the issues that had put me in such a position.   This was backed up by counselling through a service provided by my employer.  Basically it was a mix of financial worries, the worries caused by COVID-19 and my co-morbidities and family issues that had been there since the start of COVID.  In part I had turned to alcohol as a part of my coping mechanism, which had made things worse.

Working through the course persuaded me that I needed to drastically cut down my intake, and also to evaluate my feelings before reacting to situations.  The reduction in alcohol intake stays in effect to this day, an I believe for the most part I now react in a more reasoned and reasonable manner to most situations.  I also have to keep working at dealing with each situation independently, rather than dwelling too long on the "what ifs" of different combinations of things.

My progress was such that I was signed as fit to return to work with specific provisions, just before Christmas.   The approach was agreed by both my own doctor and my company's Occupational Health Consultant, but could not be discussed by my company or contractual employers until the new year, due to the holiday period.  So Christmas and New Year came and went, an I was hoping for a reasonably quick response.  Since the trigger for my thoughts had been the fear of using public transport, the provisions were based around a phased return to work, firstly working from home then gradually starting to return to the office one, two then three days a week before returning there full time.

The role I held on the contract was one which did require me to be in the office when fully occupied, but I had successfully carried out the main duties from home for the vast majority of the COVID period.   Therefore I was hopeful that the approach would be accepted.   However, as time went by with no official word other than that my manager on the contract had to hand the situation over to his manager, as he was extremely busy, January passed by without any word, and the doubts began to set in.

The focal point for each day became my exercises for bringing myself into the "now", combined with breathing and relaxation.   These as I had previously mentioned in "Kata and CBT" I had worked in with my Karate practice, as meditation forms a part of the routine for that discipline as well, at least the concept of "Mokuso" or empty mind.  I also spent part of the time learning new kata, courtesy of Videos from Noah Legel.  That, and doing some of the tasks that had been outstanding for a while.

There were other trials and tribulations along the way, but it obviously began to sink in that things were very likely not going to be as they were before.   This in turn brought new worries, which began to take a hold to some extent.  Battling these became added to the other issues I had already outlined to deal with, but the worst part as I am sure anyone will know, is the waiting.

I finally had my meeting with HR in early February, accompanied by one of the company directors, who had taken an interest in my case.   At the meeting I learnt of their concerns and intention to offer me a new role, working fin house and from home, with flexible hours.   This would address many of the worries I had, but obviously would mean some adjustments.   Then started another wait to see if this would come to pass.  The email finally came today, just as I was starting to write this blog.  Now I have to consider a fresh start and new challenges, but at least I am still here to tell the tale 😊.

REY 17/02/2022

February Turmoil, something positive and light at the end of the Tunnel

The joys of being able to work from home are becoming a bit thin now.  Being on the "high risk" list, I realise I am much luckier than many in having a job I can do from home and an employer who allows it, but shielding effectively for almost a year is beginning to take it's toll.

Kata Imperfect -0102

Family issues and increasing work demands have made it harder to train during the winter months, with dark nights, cold weather and having neighbours who have scant regard for the Covid rules make me uncomfortable in training outdoors, even when the light is good. My Sensei have been really helpful in offering Zoom lessons all the way through this pandemic.

Monday wasn't a good day 0202

However, the demands of work have made many of the evening lessons unavailable to me.   What made it worse was that I could hear my son training downstairs and I honestly wanted to join in 😞😞  

Kata after the lesson 0402

The mental tolls of nearly a year continuously at home have also had an effect.  The boundaries have become more blurred, with home intruding on work and vice versa.  At times, karate has been the only anchor point in a sometimes unstable environment.   Lesson this month included variations upon famililar themes, with the quadrant drill featuring again.  Shadow sparring, many variations of teisho strikes, some paired work, striking at different heights, lunging stances to disrupt and take the opponents space all featured alongside kata.

Snow kata 0902

There were three notable things from February which will definitely make it hard to forget though, all on the more positive side of things: 

1. In snowed, so I got to do kata in the Snow for the first time
2. Got my first Covid-19 jab ( 11th Feb) so there is light at the end of the tunnel (and my Sensei allowed me to do Seisan in lesson whilst in self isolation)
3. There was an interesting session with Andreas Quast, re-affirming the earliest known performed kata were Kusanku and Passai (around 1849) and discussing the undocumented Japanese influence on Okinawan culture ands martial arts. 

18 Feb - Rusty run through

When things are a struggle small achievements or good moments take on a bigger significance, and standout moments become milestones.  The opportunity to do kata in the snow I would have taken anytime, but that it happened during lockdown made it feel more special. 

23 Feb Goju kata

Getting vaccinated is a proper landmark, it is the first small opening onto the light at the end of the tunnel.  Training in our bedroom was a challenge (small space), but the opportunity to do a different kata during lesson time made it memorable for a good reason.  Finally, the opportunity to participate in a session of any sort with Andreas Quast is always a pleasure as there is always something new to learn about the history of karate.

4th February Lesson Outtakes

I hope for better things in the future.  If you have got this far thank you for reading.

REY 24/03/2021

04/02/2021
Shadow sparring, using specific combinations, kata combinations.
Moving to the side in sparring.  some pairwork on techniques

06/02/2021
Fundamentals, padwork (striking whist circling, jodan, chudan, gidan), kata

11 Feb - An aide memoire

11/02/2021
Teisho drills, straight reverse teisho, upper cut reverse teisho, hooking teisho, using hips to generate power. First is long range to close the distance, next two are close range.   Straight reverse teisho, crash, upper cut reverse teisho.
Use of lunging stances with front knee strike to disrupt:  Zenkutsu dachi, Shiko dachi (possible drag over step behind leg and punch to finish), Nekko achi dachi (followed by front kick to groin)

13 Feb- an unusual kata for a lesson - Seisan

13/02/2021
Addition to first teisho drill, straight reverse teisho, upper cut reverse teisho (broken energy), hooking teisho, reverse elbow strike (continuous energy).  Kata (including Seisan for me), Short teisho pinan  drill: glanching reverse teisho, front hand grab and step through, rotating forearm strike.

18/02/20201
Fundamentals, padwork, kata

20 Feb- Continuous kata during the lesson

20/02/2021
Quadrant drill, first 6 elements, continuous kata, pad drill from the Pinans

A private talk with Andreas Quast

27th and 28th Feb: Weekend Workouts

27/02/2021

Jamie Clubb lesson - anti abduction, including the bystander effect

Troubling times - time to keep on carrying on

It's hard to describe how things are at the moment, I'm on a short break at the moment, as work has been fairly intense lately.  Still no news on when I'm expected to start back to work, but my shielding is over.  There are some issues in my personal life which are causing a worry and mentally things are a little on the tough side.

0908 - Slow kata

There are a good few things I could have done, or organised better to say the least. However with the massive uncertainty of the times we live in, nothing is certain and I have to try not to beat myself up too much about some of the things.  That especially applies to things over I have little or no control, but sometimes that is easier said than done.

1008 - Cool down kata

I am still training, an obvious must given my conditions, but have felt less inclined to make as many videos as I have in the past.  From the feedback I've had though, my Sensei think I am making good progress, which is also a positive for me.  I still don't feel comfortable with the idea of meeting up in groups to train, so have missed the open air classes that my dojo have started to do one a week.

1508 - Nunchaku practice

However, we (both me and my son) have not had to forgo the lessons, as my Sensei have been kind enough to share them via Zoom.  As ever therefore, karate still forms a major focal point of my life, something that is both good for me physically and mentally and gives a framework of something to do in which I can feel I am making progress.  

1708 - Quadrant drill and a little kata

I regret having to miss lessons because of my workload, but that is unavoidable.  However, it makes me appreciate the lessons that I do make even more.   The time I really do appreciate in the lesson in Mokosu or "silent time", as for me it helps to focus on a complete reset.  I find it helps me to shut out the outside world for a little while and concentrate on other things.  A "haven from the storm" if you like. 

From a personal point of view, I have started to work on changing direction with various forms of compass drills, as this is something that doesn't feature heavily in the Naihanchi kata, but something I will need in the future  ☺☺

2008 - Nunchaku and elbow compass workout

When there are mental health issues involved, this is even more important, and the lockdown and subsequent period have certainly thrown up a few of those.  Karate wise, over the last few weeks, apart from fundamental, kata and padwork, our main focus has been the Quadrant drill.  It is best done in it's paired form, but can be done solo almost as a more explicit version of a kata if you like.  That is definitely something that I enjoy doing ☺☺☺

2208 - Oops up too early

Today, we had the honour of taking part in a Zoom lesson with the head of our Ryukyukan federation, Sensei Nohara, and there are a few more interesting lessons and webinars to come, so still much to lokk forward to a ficus on, outside of the stream of the humdrum.  So time to keep on carrying on, as ever ☺☺☺☺

Lessons 

0808

Kata
Pad drill. (2 to 3 attackers) step off to side (to see if anyone behind and line them up if so). Teisho x 2, crash.  Hammerfist x2 knee ( rugby tackle ) sprawl, hasmmer fist x 2  (neck lock from behind) 2 to 3 hammerfists to back of kneck. open shoulders to break lock and push away

1008

Quadrant drill: jab, cross hook, hammer fist, looping left, hook, back hand slap, elbow, upper cut, uppercut, ridge hand, ridge hand, (gable grip) Swap stance, (dragging head to left) left knee, swap stance (dragging head to right), right knee, head butt, sweep down tto clear arms, shoulder barge.

Right mawashi geri, back to stance, swap stance, left mawashi geri, back to stance, swap stance, right mawashi geri, hold out, right mawashi geri, follow through back to stance, Ashe Uke, Mai geri, ball of foot to stomach, Mai geri, ball of foot to stomach, Mai geri, top of foot to groin, left back fist, cross, jab, cross, jab to head, cross, jab, cross to body (solar plexus, liver spleen), duck left moving legs circle head under punch, step back hands up

1608

Quadrant drill, padwork - Teisho, hammer first, elbow

Nunchaku 

 Figure of 8s both hands,  Striking both hands: Crosswise strike towards body, crosswise strike away from body, upward strike over shoulder, downward strike.   How ordinary items such as a belt, a hadbag, or a doglead, can be used to carry out similar strikes to nunchaku.  Kihon kata: 
1) Step back into Shiko dachi, front hand downward strike, emulating bike handle, both sides.
2) Step back into Shiko dachi, ront hand downward strike, emulating bike handle, touch to front wrist, back hand under, front hand up to bring Nunchaku behind front shoulder, both sides.
3) Step back into Shiko dachi, ront hand downward strike, emulating bike handle, touch to front wrist, back hand under, front hand up to bring Nunchaku behind front shoulder, front hand figure of eight five times, catch at waist on back hand, both sides.
Free sparring Nunchaku

2008

Fundamentals, kata, pad work, different forms of teisho, straight, upwards, hook then short slap with double hip movement.

2208

Fundamentals and kata (with Sensei Nohara)